If you’ve ever read what the Bible says about who you are in Christ and thought, “He doesn’t really mean me because He knows what I’ve done,” then this story of God’s relentless pursuit of one woman is for you. We are forever changed NOT because of our goodness but because of His faithfulness.

{Guest post: For more on this writer see bio at end.}

Back in January of this year, I got really brave and decided to do a Bible study. Alone! At least that was how it started.

Although I was still the same me reading — and it was the same Bible — the words seemed to be different this time. I had been praying for a while for God to draw me near. Some things in my life had me feeling so utterly defeated that I was begging for relief. It seemed I would become so overwhelmed with my thoughts I could not breathe.

I have had other dark times in my life where I had the same feelings, but those times I was clinging to my understanding and self-reliance to work those situations out. Yep, you guessed it. Didn’t work out so well.

Even though this most recent set of circumstances felt overwhelming, I knew right where to go: to the feet of Jesus!

In the beginning of the study, this verse jumped out at me. And when I say jumped out, I mean I kept going back to it, over and over.
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.”
(2 Tim. 1:7, NIV)
“Read it again! Did you read that? What exactly does that mean? Why am I stuck on this?” These are the things I was telling myself.

There are a lot of times I have felt timid. I would say that I love (and most of the time have been good with) self-discipline. Here is where I need to clarify — in my own strength and depending on the circumstances.

As I continued the study I began to read and reread these words. I started to crave the study; only it wasn’t the study I was craving. It was the time alone with the Word — with Jesus.
His Word tells us, “… You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jer. 29:13, NIV)

I can’t tell you when it happened exactly but during this time, I finally understood the reference to “living water.”
“But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
(John 4:14, NIV)

Y’all, the only way I know to describe this feeling is to compare it to being so thirsty and the source you find to quench it is from a fire hydrant. The water is coming out so fast and you’re so thirsty, you just can’t seem to get enough and you sure don’t want to waste any.

God began to show me unimaginable things. I was not just reading and comprehending; I was connecting dots in my life. He showed me that He was what I had been craving. Spoiler alert: He built us that way. All those things we try to fill our lives with to satisfy that “feeling” will never work. It is He, and He does satisfy.

I realized I struggled not with believing IN him, but believing Him. The hardest part was believing Him about who He says I am in Him. I had a firm grip on who I was and it wasn’t pretty.

Somewhere in the middle of this time in His Word, that little girl deep down in me heard Him clearly whisper, “You are loved. You are worthy. I made you just the way you are. You are good. I love you!”

And. I. Wrestled!

While the little girl in me longed to be held and comforted, the big girl who has failed soooo many times kept resisting. “He doesn’t really mean me! He knows what I have done! He knows how many times I have gone with what I felt, instead of what I knew was truth.”

Yet He pursued me! I cannot begin to tell you from the depths of my soul, how grateful I am that — yet again — He did not give up on me. And just like that — a peace, a stillness, a beautiful washing swept over me and I am FOREVER changed. Because I now realize that it isn’t all about me. AT ALL!

It is all about Him! He is who He says He is! He has done everything He said He would do and everything He says He will do.

I can’t begin to tell you the things He has done in my life since this new awakening. I can look back over events in my life and see where and how He was there the whole time. There are no bounds to His love for us. We only need to believe Him at His Word and accept Him.

About the Guest Writer

Michelle Webb is a regular woman with an extraordinary Savior! Blessed wife and mom. Excited to be diving in deep to the Word to learn what the Lord has to show us.

See all the Guest Posts from this Summer Series:

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