If you’re feeling broken, you need this hope! Some of the deepest worship occurs in the middle of the broken hallelujah chorus. Trust God to give you one note at a time and look for the new thing He is doing.
A few years ago, I had a year full of one trial and setback after another. By the end of the year, the chorus of a country song (popular at the time) had landed in my head:
“Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady …
Gotta keep it together even when you fall apart.”
Chippie doesn’t sing much anymore
Max Lucado’s book In the Eye of the Storm is one of my favorites. He opens with the story of Chippie the parakeet.
Chippie got sucked into the vacuum while his owner was cleaning his cage.
The stunned bird, covered in dust and soot, was rescued from the bag and then rushed to the bathroom where he was thrust under the running water.
As he sat there soaked and shivering, his well-meaning owner reached for the hair dryer and blasted him with hot air.
Max notes that poor Chippie never knew what hit him and concludes with the owner’s assessment of Chippie’s recovery: “Chippie doesn’t sing much anymore – he just sits and stares.”
During that season of trials, I saw myself in that story.
How about you? Does any of that resonate? Are you trying to simply keep it together when all you want to do is fall apart? Have you lost your song? Are you surrounded by brokenness?
If so, I am so sorry. I know it’s hard and I remember how much it can hurt.
[x_custom_headline type=”left” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3” accent=”false”]Feeling broken ~ Singing the Broken Hallelujah[/x_custom_headline]
During that season, I pondered Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “… I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me..” I’m not sure I ever got to the point of “boasting about my weakness” during those dark days, but I did finally submit to whatever God wanted to work in my life.
I stopped hiding my crazy and handed it over to the Lord. He exchanged it for a renewed perspective. I scribbled a few words marking the moment when I surrendered:
“God is writing a new song on my heart – a broken hallelujah of sorts.
And with that, He is reminding me that when He gives a song, my only response can be to sing.
And so I will sing of the God who doesn’t require I hide my crazy from Him.
Of the One who is working all things for my good and His glory, even when He seems silent and things seem to be falling apart.
I will sing of my brokenness so that others might hear of the only One who can break through the darkness, mend a heart, and restore a song.
Along the way, you – or someone you know – may recognize this broken hallelujah. The verses may differ, but the chorus will be familiar. It’s so much easier to sing a difficult song when you’re standing by others who know the tune well.
And so, I’ll sing the broken hallelujah He has given me – and if you recognize the chorus, feel free to join in.”
(December 2014)
Falling Apart Right Into Place
Dear friend, when I wrote those words, I was still feeling broken as ever. Nothing had changed and healing certainly didn’t come immediately. But I was tired of striving, tired of hiding, tired of trying to fix myself. I learned some of the deepest worship occurs in the middle of the broken hallelujah chorus.
Through letting go, I discovered more about the new thing He was doing in my life. He did turn that broken hallelujah into a song others recognized and gave me a place in His plan I could never have dreamed possible.
I thought things had fallen apart. In fact, they had been falling right into place.
What about you? Is there any part of a broken hallelujah you can hold onto? Maybe you can’t launch into a full chorus yet, but can you just trust Him to give you one note at a time?
Surrender the plans you held for this year and trade them for whatever He has in store. Lean into His promises, feed on His Word, and allow whatever He is doing to come to completion in your life. When He’s finished, you may look around and realize that the place you’ve fallen into is the place where you belong.
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Combat feelings of discouragement and feeling broken with survival-grade faith.
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16 responses to “A story of hope if you’re feeling broken and falling apart”
You might not feel it but in the moment of your brokenness you are the strongest, for you are the most surrendered to Him.
Amen!
Christi, I was just talking to my husband about how can I be real with my real life mess and still blog with authenticity and yet not sharing some very private parts of my life? I don’t want to be fake. I want to be real and write, not everything is good all the time….because it just isn’t. I felt that the Lord lead me to your post. I am with you on CBB. Thanks so much for your encouragement and the message of HOPE in your life and post! Hope is so life giving!
Johanna, this is both an honor and a humbling experience to hear these words from you. It is definitely a road that you have to work out with the Lord. But I have seen transparency in a life coupled with the truth about the author of life combine in a powerful testimony that points people back to Him. Why He uses us is a mystery but I’m so glad He lets us be part of it.
So blessed to hear from your sweet heart. Thank you!
You are so real, and I love that. Chippie doesn’t sing much anymore – the humor and the rawness. You are leading us with your limp. Thank you for sharing the tip of the iceberg, can’t wait to see what’s next! God is using you! Keep it up!
OH, you dear, dear one! I’m running out of words to say how much your deep and thoughtful encouragement has meant to me. We’re going to have to move on to coffee before long!
I think sometimes God knows just how to break us in order to put us back together so that we can do the work He has created us to do. He does it just well enough; just complete enough so that we cannot put ourselves together again the way we used to be. I’ve been here…
It is true that we are often stronger in the broken places. What sweet words you share and thanks for the honest nod to having “been here.” I am looking forward to learning more of your story on this journey!
C
Yes…Amen! Thank you for your transparency. I KNOW that is what the Christian world needs. I’ve also started my blog where I want to talk about the REAL STUFF…know what I mean? I’ve tiptoed into it but I’ve yet to dive on in. Maybe this is just the push I need…maybe. :)
Oh, my, Tasha. Those are the sweetest words someone could say to me.
To inspire others to let God use their scars to bear witness of His healing touch is my heart’s desire. Thank you for letting me know how this affected you.
What a sweet, sweet thing to be able to find other believers in this big ‘ole world! So glad we found each other!
C
I’ve wondered over the past few months where you went and if you were ok. Forgive me for not asking sooner but you have been in my thoughts and on my heart frequently. I will say that I read so much of my story over the last few years in your words. Especially the “not public” part. Those who are broken “get” those who are broken. The beauty in this is that we can see the love and grace of God so much more clearly. I’ll be praying for you as you move forward. I’ve carried with me this thought, “What if my world is not falling apart but falling into place?” and this scripture, Colossians 1:17. That scripture has been my lifeline for 3 years, 4 months and a few days now.
Andrea, you are such an inspiration … and to hear that anything I might have put out there shed light on God’s love and grace takes me to a place beyond words. It literally makes me weak in the knees to think that God would let me string together a few words that might bring Him glory. Thank you for the encouragement and sweet, precious friendship. And for the reminder that INDEED, HE DOES HOLD ALL THINGS TOGETHER. Praise His precious name!
Thank you for sharing your broken heart. God is always at work, even in the darkness. You would enjoy Jason’s sermon “88 follows 89” from Jan 11. Lots in there that you’d be able to relate to. He was speaking from a different broken heart place than you but his principles are powerful. Love you!
Amen, sister. God is ALWAYS at work. The darkness cannot hid His light. Thanks for sharing.
That is beautiful Christi. You have a wonderful gift of putting words together that inspire. Keep on writing – you are so gorgeous outside and inside (where it really counts)! Love you!!
Thank you for the encouragement! This was a tough one to write. Love you so.