Bare shelves at HEB, shorts with boots, Bluebell, and the kindness of a stranger. Yep, it’s Texas. In the style of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” and inspired by watching my beloved home state anticipate a snow dusting.
If you promise a TEXAN a snowfall …
He’s going to laugh out loud.
When you show him ten different radars, 19 national weathermen, and grandpa’s joints that never lie, he’ll take it into consideration.
While he’s considering, he’ll check Facebook to see what his friends are saying.
When he sees his feed is full of friends waiting and posting expectantly, he’ll start to believe himself.
He’ll probably join his friends. And because he wants to be the first to upload a photo of a flake, he might slip on his boots with his shorts to go see if it’s falling yet.
When he walks outside, he’ll remember he needs to change the oil in the truck.
When he gets in the truck to pop the hood, he’ll see he’s low on gas.
So he’ll drive to Buc-ees.
When he gets to Buc-ees, he’ll have to wait in line because everyone else is there filling up in case the snow closes the roads and the fuel trucks get stranded.
Seeing the panic will make him remember he’s out of milk. And bread. And Bluebell.
He could do without milk and bread, but he decides Bluebell isn’t negotiable.
So he’ll drive to HEB.
When he gets to HEB, he’ll see the shelves are almost bare and the lines are long. He’ll go in any way. Because Bluebell.
He’ll get a loaf, a jug, and the last carton of Moo-llennium Crunch and head to the checkout.
While he waits, a mom with two kids will get in line behind him.
He’ll say, “Howdy, ma’am” and turn back around.
After he turns back around, he’ll hear the 4-year-old say to his mom, “Mommy, why can’t we get ice cream?” The mommy will tell the little boy that she only has enough money for milk and bread.
When it comes time for him to pay, he’ll tell the cashier to put the milk and bread in the basket behind him on his credit card.
When he’s finished signing the receipt, he’ll turn to the family, give the mom the $20 bill from his pocket and smile at the shy little sister. Then he’ll lean down and shake the 4-year-old’s hand and give him the gallon of Bluebell. The boy will say, “Thank you, sir” and giggle out loud about the treasure.
He’ll drive back home with his milk and bread.
When he gets home, he’ll probably have forgotten about the oil so he’ll go inside.
When he gets inside, his wife will kiss him and thank him for remembering they needed milk and bread. His son will wonder why he didn’t bring home Bluebell.
When his son asks about the Bluebell, he’ll scoop him up and hold him close and tell him they’ll make snow-cream in the morning.
The son will ask what snow-cream is.
When he tries to describe snow-cream to his son who has never seen snow, he’ll decide to look up recipes on the iPad.
When he gets on the iPad, he’ll check the weather again. When he finds out the snow isn’t supposed to start until later, he’ll decide to put his son in bed.
He’ll promise to wake the son up when the first flakes fall.
He’ll kiss his son goodnight and check Facebook one more time.
When he gets on Facebook, he’ll see that school has been canceled for the next day for fear of “icy roads” and he’ll laugh out loud.
He’ll walk out every half hour in shorts and boots checking for flakes.
When the first flakes arrive, he’ll rush in, scoop up his son and wake his wife. The three of them will join the rest of the neighborhood standing in the middle of their driveways at 3 am.
They’ll take a family selfie for Facebook. In shorts and boots and fur-lined parkas.
And they’ll laugh out loud.
[clickToTweet tweet=”So fun! In the style of ‘If You Give a Mouse a cookie,’ this post lovingly pokes fun at Texas and snow. Read: ‘If you promise a TEXAN a snowfall …’ #texasweather” quote=”So fun! In the style of ‘If You Give a Mouse a cookie,’ this post lovingly pokes fun at Texas and snow. Read: ‘If you promise a TEXAN a snowfall …’ #texasweather”]
Photo Credit: Pixabay Contributor Laurie Pace (Dallas)
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[clickToTweet tweet=”If you promise a Texan a snowfall, he’s going to laugh out loud and then he’s going to … #texasweather ” quote=”If you promise a Texan a snowfall, he’s going to laugh out loud and then he’s going to … #texasweather “]